There Could Never Be Another Ewe

You may remember that classic tune, “There could never be another you.” It’s a romantic concept, but is it true? Dolly the sheep was a Ewe and scientists evidently cloned her, so there was another “ewe.” (Sorry…)

This whole cloning thing presents questions. I was shocked when we took a family portrait to see a definite resemblance in every person in the photo. What was particularly disturbing is the fact that even my daughter’s husbands had the bizarre genetic mutation…and they aren’t even related to us by blood. Check out the photo. It’s pretty scary. My youngest grandson Joshua, also known as “Animal”, bears a striking resemblance to Adolph Hitler with glasses. That’s terrifying.

This brings us to the questions: Could there ever be another human being exactly like you? In my case, would the world really want another me? My wife thinks there are too many of me now.


Cloning is a strange thing to contemplate. If it were possible to clone a human being, would the personality of the individual go along with the physical body? Would my clone like peanut butter sandwiches dipped in hot cocoa? If we were both young, would my clone and I be competing for the same women? Could we pick the women we like and have them cloned? Better yet, could we pick various characteristics from different women for an ideal composite? On the other side of the coin, if nobody picked me to be cloned, I could become extinct. And if I were cloned, which one would be me?

Some people are having their pets cloned. There are claims that aliens in flying saucers have cloned human beings. Folks that believe this alien theory can be easily identified by an irrational fear of twins. The sight of triplets brings immediate incontinence.

On the bright side, if you are the type person who only enjoys hanging around people like yourself, cloning could be the answer. Clone three more of yourself and you could play poker and drink beer with guys you like. You could all cheer for the same team on Super Bowl Sunday. And you could fight over the one woman all four of you wanted.

Cloned women could exchange clothes and they would fit perfectly. When a group of women get together, they all talk at once. To a man passing by it may sound like a fox got in with the chickens, but women have the ability to hear and talk at the same time. If the woman clones were together having lunch, there would be no need to talk because they would all be thinking the same thing and there would be no difference of opinion.

With cloning, the phrase, “I can’t be in two places at once” would become obsolete. The old childhood saying, “Me, myself, and I,” would become a reality for all three of you. Those rare individuals who struggle with multiple personalities could pass their various identities out to as many of their clones as needed. The possibilities boggle the mind.

But back to the family portrait. Actually the Groucho Marx getup was my youngest daughter Juliane’s idea, which demonstrates the fact that you don’t need cloning to pass things like goofiness on to your offspring.